Have you ever had such an experience:
Like the person did not reply in time to their own information, began to ruminate; work in the error, sleepless nights, worried about the leadership does not recognize their own; always very concerned about the eyes of others, repeated use of other people’s evaluation to torture themselves ……
You will find that obviously a day did not do anything, but feel very “heart tired”, which means that you are experiencing mental internal consumption.
Today, the practical fungus and share with you 4 ways to reduce the mental internal consumption, so that you can get rid of psychological distress, to find the long lost happiness of adults.
Cut off the catastrophizing way of thinking.
A lot of mental internal friction is generated by worrying about nothing, obviously nothing, have to put on a big show in the heart, make up a lot of bad details, in psychology, this phenomenon is also known as “catastrophic thinking”.
Bad things happen in daily life, and it is common to worry, but when we focus only on the dark side of things, this “catastrophizing” perspective becomes a continuous or even automated thinking, individuals will be in a state of high anxiety for a long time.
When catastrophic thinking patterns occur, the first task is to become aware of the irrational thoughts or ideas in your head, to stop them, and to explore them inwardly:
Has anything like this happened in the past? Is the outcome I fear really going to happen? If it happens, will the outcome be that bad? What would be the worst possible outcome?
Slowly practice questioning these thoughts and telling yourself that there are other positive explanations.
At the end of the analysis, you will find out for yourself that there is little evidence to prove that your catastrophizing thoughts will come true because at that moment it’s just your feelings, your imagination, and not the truth itself.
Correct cognitive biases and learn to change the negative “What if ……?” to the positive “What if ……?”.
For example, if you take on a new task, you always think, “What if I screw this up? That’s a catastrophizing thought.
But when you transform a thought, tell yourself: although this task is a bit difficult, but if I try, can be achieved.
After you change your mind and compare the situation of “if things will be bad” and “if things have positive meaning”, you will find that the inner energy will be raised in the moment of the change of mind.
Focus on what is happening
..There are two networks in a person’s brain, the default network (DMN) and the focus network (TPN).
The DMN is turned on when we are always rambling and unable to rest in the thoughts of the moment.
The protagonist of “The Man in the Suit” always thinks that life will change, so much so that when he goes out on a sunny day, he brings an umbrella, puts on his shoe covers and coat, worries excessively, and eventually dies of depression.
It’s like the three questions of the soul that city dwellers often ask: Before you finish breakfast, you start thinking about what you’re going to eat for lunch and dinner. Once the thoughts can not focus on the present moment, neither can enjoy the delicious taste of breakfastnor can well spend time preparing lunch and dinner.
AThemain role of TPN is to take care of the problems that are happening in the present moment, which allows us to focus our attention.
Reducing mental internalization requires forcefully activating our TPN, cultivating the focus of the mind resting in the present moment, and developing a sense of positive thinking.
In your life, you can pick a scene, such as eating, walking, or doing the dishes, and focus all your attention on what you are doing.
Try one scene a day, and stay focused for at least 10 minutes at a time for at least 2 weeks, and you’ll find that as distractions are emptied, each moment becomes easier and easier.
Practice the courage to be hate..d
People who are tired of living often wear two masks. One mask is called the “true self”, and when things go wrong, the little man inside longs to say, “I have my ideas, I don’t want to cater to others; just because people don’t like me doesn’t mean I’m not good enough; why do I care so much about other people’s judgment? Why should I care so much about what others think? It’s only important that I’m happy with myself.”
There is also a mask called the “false self”, this mask is good and understanding, never daring to reject others, especially concerned about how others see themselves, to cater to others often contrary to the true needs of the heart.
And often to gain recognition from the outside world, play the fake mask that they hate, rather than the bold and true self.
The false self is sometimes like a “Gordian knot” that holds us back, and we need the courage to cut these “Gordian knots”.
We need to learn to categorize the evaluations that others give us, to reduce our sensitivity to invalid evaluations, and to shift our attention to valid evaluations that are positive for us.
Playing the false self all the time will drain what energy you have left, in addition to being uncomfortable and unhappy.
When you begin to obsess and worry about how others perceive you, meditate in your mind:
Happiness is my own, and no one can make me unhappy if I don’t allow it.
How do you think I am, I am, it doesn’t matter, good or bad I recognize, don’t bother to explain, anyway, neither live by you, nor with you.
Try to say these words out, after you say it out, you will feel more comfortable than ever inside.
Do back to the real self, and see if the sky has fallen.
If not, those suppressed, entangled, and afraid to express the point of view, all release it.
More important than how others see you is whether you can live well.
If you are constantly seeking the approval of others and trying to become what others see you as, you can never be truly satisfied and happy.
Stop Self-PUA
Li Xin Frequency says that there is a kind of tiredness called a better self.
Many people will gradually develop self-doubt and deplete their inner energy on their constant quest to become better because they fail to become their ideal selves and satisfy those around them.
Therefore, when you have similar feelings occur, to detect whether you have fallen into the “pursuit of a better self” self PUA trap, that is, constantly carry out self-attack.
The essence of self-attack is to feel that the current self is not good enough, and it is easy to form inertia over time.
When you feel that you are not good enough, or feel that you do not deserve it, you can ask yourself, is it not good enough, or you have become addicted to self-denial?
Krishnamurti, the Indian philosopher and spiritual teacher, said something like, “The crisis is not outside, the crisis is actually inside, and we are not willing to face that.”
How to be with yourself in the present moment of involution is a lesson in asking yourself:
Are you willing to give yourself, even once, the opportunity to recognize yourself more fully again? Are you willing to see and accept the parts of yourself that are good enough, in addition to the flaws?
Change the way you interpret yourself from negative self-criticism to positive self-encouragement, and the internal conflict will disappear because it will have been transformed into a resource within you.
Before going to bed every day, remember to record 1-3 small things that make you feel most accomplished, give yourself a “mental massage”, and create a positive feedback loop to the self.
Every day, give yourself 1-2 beautiful words, such as careful, and gentle ……, so that the “self” as a character portrait becomesricherh.
The nature of internal conflict is a person’s struggle with himself or herself.
Excessive internal consumption will make us fall into the emotional quagmire, and become uneasy and exhausted.
So, don’t over-bear the emotions of others, and don’t waste your energy on things that have passed, or haven’t happened yet.
Learn to be kind to your inner self and live the way you want to live, more than living the way others like you.
Everyone is the creator of their own internal conflict, and the only one who can end it is themselves.
